Being single, running a business, and reading more spiritual books caused me to think about what I was doing and where I was going in my life. My present life could go better! Ha! I had money problems and could not keep my house much longer. At this same time, I was looking within myself, continuing to attend Al-Anon meetings, and watching for answers. I always appeared to others as a high achiever, but my personal life was not so good. Both husbands made decisions without me, and they both dated outside marriage. The second one was worse than the first. It was horrible. I, however, was learning about why all of this happened. It was me in many ways and what I was drawing to me. I believe we come here to learn lessons while on earth. I did not catch on to my part of drawing this to me in the first marriage. I believe that I had too much joy with Dawn, Johnny, and even Don, along with the bad. Don kept forcing me into change by not sharing some significant decisions, and some of the forced changes turned out well.
I do believe God decided I would have to be hit over the head to “open my eyes, understand, and see myself clearly.” Thus, my second husband became an excellent teacher about lessons I should have learned in the first marriage and paid no attention to!. With the work I was doing, I was finally able to clearly see lessons received in both relationships. I knew that I had to change me before ever getting into another dysfunctional relationship within my work or in my personal life. Thus, I began to look at my goals and where I was going from here.
Every year I set goals for my work. That began way back there when I started planning for what would later became a large comprehensive mental health center in New Mexico. Being divorced now for almost two years and wanting some changes in my life, I decided to set new goals in the four ways I am rather than “just about business.”
I picked up a pad, turned it sideways, so there was more space to make four categories. I wanted one for Physical, one for Mental, another section for Emotional, and the last was for Spiritual. Then I thought about what I might want in my line “Physical.” I would first begin with myself, how I could keep my health good, what I might like to improve in my surroundings. Then I wrote what I would like to see improved in my home environment and the area I worked in when I was here at home. Following that, what would I want to see in my broader life in my community. Is there traveling I physically want to do?
All I kept studying indicated that we are able to create. I really got into this. I adjusted each category to fit me. I began having so much fun that I thought others might enjoy doing goals this way. Under Mental, I put things like new ideas for work, opening my mind to discover what I believed and did not believe, allow new thoughts, and perhaps something new I might want to do this year like write a book or rewrite the one about my marriage to Don. It was sitting on a shelf in my closet. I had idealized him before I was willing to see everything clearly. I added a possible painting class.
Emotional included my relationships, a more personal relationship with God, improved family relationships, draw healthier and enjoyable women friends to me. A year later, I wrote “a companion to have fun with,” and even “a new relationship for me with money.” I definitely needed a new way to look at money. No matter how hard I worked, I didn’t have enough money to cover expenses!
I knew when I wrote that down; it might mean letting go of an old belief “that owning a home provides security.” I might need to sell it and remove a large house payment. That might help in regards to a new relationship with money. I might also need to cut up my credit cards. Spiritual included “improved active listening for both answers and feelings about my life.” I also wanted to raise my awareness of all answers,” and “bring more light into my life.” My lists continued to grow in all four categories because new ideas kept coming; I added each image to my list.
When I thought I was ready for the next step, I purchased two poster boards and cut them in half. Then I gathered up old magazines to go through and randomly cut out pictures to exemplify my desires under each category. I titled one board for Physical, one for Mental, one for Emotional, and one for Spiritual.
Now all of this may sound ridiculous, but “all” of those that I have shared this goal-setting adventure with that have done it for themselves were amazed with the results! And I did this the entire ten years I was single and a few years after we got married. I do still write down my goals each year, but I leave each goal without specifics. I want goals to be unlimited so that God and Spirit to add or subtract. They still go into four categories. Sometimes a goal goes all the way across.For a while, I even made a fifth category that was strictly about my career and selling my book. So I had the fifth line. Like what I said, do what is comfortable for you. But if you are single and want to see more miracles in your life, “write your goals.” Everything goes into the Universe with more strength and to your Divine Source when you handwrite it. And, if it is at all possible, make those vision boards. Write down what you want to happen, even if it does not seem logical to do so. And then watch what happens within this year.
This “setting of goals” is excellent to do on a weekend when you have nothing else planned or when you are lonely or when you feel blue, and you think nothing will ever happen “for you.” You will be as amazed.” I was. One office hired me to come in and guide them every year. It was like a fun retreat, even if it was only for a short day of preparing for the growth they wanted to achieve at work, and then their personal goals. They had success every year and were amazed as each one presented the result of their written goals and vision boards before beginning the next year. This goal-setting procedure is fun to do in October because it gives the time as the year closes to start thinking about what’s coming in the future year.
LESSON; Have Fun!!! Allow that feeling of joy within as you create what is wanted for the coming year. I quit setting dates for a goal to occur. If I wanted, I felt free to write the same goal the following year. It will happen when it happens. Watch the chosen words for goals. I committed to writing about “When Spirit Speaks” and wrote “write book” as a goal. A year went by and I did nothing. Then I wrote “Enjoy sitting down at a computer and writing my book.” (I had no computer and could not afford one, but was unexpectedly given a brand new computer by a friend that year.) Amazing! That year I began. It took me five years, but I did it. Then “Improve my book by changing it into something like a script.” Next year was “Listen only to me.” (I had wasted a year by asking other friends to look at it.” I learned it was better for me to read and reread.)I rewrote it. Then “Enjoy redoing after editing.”)
GIFTS: It took me five years, but I did it. You see, Then I was scared it would not be good enough. I wrote, “Improve my book by changing it into something like a script.” The next year was, “Listen only to me and do my best. (I wrote this because I wasted a year by asking other friends to look at it.” I learned it was better for me to read and reread.)I rewrote it. My last goal before “Publishing my book” became a goal was “Enjoy redoing after John’s editing.”Each rewrite about my life and the most sacred experience brought healing. I believe everyone has a story and writing about life heals! One sees answers when writing.”
I put my house up for sale. I finally learned even more about what is important. Security is not a home or stuff outside of ourselves. Security is within.
I opened to new ideas and “began considering” speaking to businesses and individuals that desired positive change in life. All sorts of new ideas kept coming forth. Thoughts are sent many times by God and I paid attention to what I started thinking, since I was rearranging my life.