I began to take steps to find the truth. I began doing affirmations first. Next, I decided to fast, because an unknown man I rode the ski lift with Colorado said “you have a beautiful smile, but your eyes do not look happy.” I then shared with him I wanted to find a truth about my husband. He then shared with me fasting with an intention for truth works. Was he an Angel? Odd experience to have on a ski lift. I returned home and fasted one day a week for four unusual weeks. Two books I previously mentioned came from other people during those four weeks. One was “Tough Love” and the other was “Women Who Love Too Much.” I read both and asked if I could keep the books. I next asked an admired friend to be my prayer partner. We prayed together every morning on the phone.
Then I took another step. I acquired a counselor for us because I still thought we could save this marriage. My problem was my partner went twice and said he thought life was good. I am sure he did. He was dating and using my credit cards that I did not know he had. He quit counseling and I continued. It was through the counseling I went to for about six weeks that I discovered I was a great codependent. The counselor suggested I read “Codependency No More.” He also thought I might like the Al-Anon Program. He was so right. I went and felt better. I tried several meetings and found the one that was right for me. I quickly asked a woman I met at a meeting to be my Al-Anon sponsor, and I began the steps. I discovered the “God Box” from a speaker at one Al-Anon meeting. I immediately went home, found a box, and started using it. Miracles began happening.
All of this helped me take my focus “off him and what he was doing.” I was finally able to put my focus back on me. Using that God Box helped me with the IRS problem, problems with children, and personal problems of all sorts. I returned to a balanced and more confident person that could sleep. I had no more insomnia. On a bad week, I went to more than one meeting. An answer came to me at every meeting. I also learned techniques to stop reacting.
LESSON: Learn to watch for signs/answers within and without. Make changes in Self. Use a God Box. Journal your life. Read an inspirational book for ten minutes every morning to balance before leaving. Al-Anon brings answers.
GIFT: I learned techniques to stop reacting to emotional abuse. For instance, I began praying silently continually through his emotional abuse sessions when he told me what I could do to change so that he might like me. I barely listened. I gained the courage to file for a divorce.