After John and I closed my apartment that I had kept for one year following our marriage and I slowed down meetings and appointments for my nutrition business, John asked, “How do you feel about shutting down your business completely so that you can finish your book?” I sat quiet, and he continued, “I do not think you will ever finish your book until you let go of your nutrition business completely.” I was quiet because I was thinking about how this might work. I looked at him, and as I contemplated how I could do this, I said, “I agree.” I made a telephone call to Jeanie, who worked part-time for me, and said, “Do you remember we talked about your taking over my business if I ever wanted to let it go?” She hesitated and said, “Yes.” Me: “Well, I am ready.” I had the courage to close that door. I could continue to create money to help with our finances by speaking on other topics to help people wanting change and, at times, for corporations. By eliminating phone calls for orders and making orders for stock, I could schedule the time to work on my book steadily and finish it.
I wrote I wrote a whole book but did not like it. I was rewriting my book, “When Spirit Speaks,” for years and was on the fifth rewrite when we married. With every rewrite, I learned more about myself and healed more within me. I wanted everyone to write their life story to see what happened to them as a result. When I finally decided to self-publish, I had to take steps other than writing, such as finding a printer to work with me when I was ready, getting my book edited by John, filling out any forms required for copyrighting my book and acquiring an ISBN. I first found a printer willing to do his first book. He and his wife had helped with handouts that I did not have time to make. Next, I talked to John about editing. He agreed to do it.
I have to tell a story here. When I finally found a stopping point for the book, I gave it to John. I hoped he would get right on it and have it edited in a short while. Feeling like he needed to see what I was saying about him was also important to me. By editing my book, he could see exactly what I said about our relationship within the book. Well, he kept putting off the editing. A friend of ours who did all of the Native American ceremonies with us and loved being around came to stay with us while he painted our victorian house. We gave him room and board in exchange for his repairing wood that needed replacing and painting. He broke his shoulder while working, so we helped him through that surgery while living with us. In my past, I had purchased a book on soups that John laughingly teased me about.
With John not spending time on my book, I grew antsy but still stayed nice. I would casually ask about his editing and how it was going when I knew he was not doing it. John kept saying, “I am going to get to it.” Some activities always got in the way. My frustration finally increased until I said something that caused him to say, “I tell you what, you know that book on soups you purchased? I bet I can have your book edited by the time you cook every soup in that book. Now he knew that I would not cook much of the time, so he never dreamed what I would do. I smiled, “I accept that bet.” To our friend living with us until he found a place of his own and finished working on our house, I said, “You are our witness.”
Guess what I did. As soon as John left for work the following morning, I sat down with that book and wrote down every ingredient I would need to cook every soup in the book. Next came buying. I had appointments in Oklahoma City, so my next trip to the city included various groceries I could not acquire in Pauls Valley. With everything gathered, I began cooking. Every time John and our friend sat down at the table to eat, I presented nothing but soup. It did not matter if the soup was three meals a day or not. They got nothing but soup. Guess how fast John got my book edited. John and I rarely get mad at each other. However, we do love to have fun. I gave leftover soup to a family that enjoyed soup “with their mean.” We had no meal with soup, just soup. I certainly did not want to keep the leftovers because I had to go through the book. With the book edited and corrected, I was able to take the book in the proper format plus copyright and ISBN to the printer for the first printing of 1,000 books. Amazing.
While the printer prepared the first run of my book, John and I were attending ceremonies, both doing vision quests for others, visiting with children! That was weekend life. And, of course, Sun Dance. I completed my fourth Sun Dance. John completed his fourth Sun Dance the year before I did. He supported me during my fourth dance, just as I had supported him during his first dance. During the week, we were both working. He was lawyering. I was putting together seminars and creating workbooks for seminars. I took time to think about “how I allowed the door on my business to close, making certain people could still get their products, and then how Spirit had worked to guide me as I began doing what was necessary to places to present seminars. It was like I would have the right person in my life “just show up” when I needed to know what to put together for a packet to send to bookstores. I needed funds for 1,000 books. I also needed a way to advertise to sell my book when it was time for my book to go forth. I had to be frugal because all of this cost money. New doors opened as I kept moving forward, and it all worked out. It was amazing to me, and I took note of each blessing.
LESSON: Everyone’s life is interesting. Consider writing your story for grandkids or great-grandchildren to go back and read. Once you commit internally, keep moving forward. Ask God and Spirit for help. Spirit will help you keep taking steps forward, even if the step you take must be a small one initially. For instance, I sometimes had to do a few more seminars before I could do the next step and have the money that would be necessary. Know that sometimes one must close one door so to allow space for change. Another door will open. When you are forced to close a door, know what appears to be negative becomes a positive. If you write a book, do not give it to several friends for feedback. Please give it to only one person you trust, someone who will share ideas or give suggestions in a good way.
GIFTS: I closed the door to my nutrition business of fifteen years and opened the door to become a “published author.” I published. Positive surprises took place, and a few negative letters were mailed to me from people I did not know. They were concerned about my soul. I received so much healing doing this that I knew my soul was fine with what I did.
Another gift received was that I did not have to worry about what John might think when he read my book! As my editor, he saw it before it came out!
I watched as God and Spirit kept placing the right people in front of me with the information I needed. I also watched as people learned what I was doing and supported me with drawings they made for the book, gifts of encouragement, and technical help. When the book was ready, I had the money to cover it, to my surprise. Five years of work was really going to manifest into a book.
If you read this and have not read my book, but would like to, go to my web page, susanneblake.com, and download the ebook for free. Boston Blake, our son, set that up this ability for you to download an ebook. If you want a signed, softcover copy of my book, let me know by calling me. Leave a message, and I will return your call. I am listed in Pauls Valley’s telephone directory.